Adulthood...Is He Ready? Am I?

We were in the last couple of months before my son would transition out of the school system into “adulthood”. At that point, he would no longer be entitled to receive services that are intended to help him to learn, grow and develop. He would be expected to know how to do the things he’d been taught and trained to do. So, in those last months, we worked feverishly to help him to master and generalize every skill he’d been taught…and it started to feel a little overwhelming and a bit scary.

While I know it is a fact, it’s hard for me to see my boy as a grown man. Though he’s 21, my heart is not ready to consider him living his life in the adult world - expected to do adult things in adult ways. In my heart I want to protect him. But I know that I have to shift that mindset as often as it takes to continue to help him to master and generalize every possible skill - so that he can function as independently as possible as an adult.

So, when I’m tempted to do something for him because it’s hard for him; instead, I step back and let him do it so that he’ll know that he can.

Even though it may be easier and faster for me to do things for him, I have to invest the time necessary for him to develop mastery. Even if the progress is slow and he doesn’t want to do it, I need to push both of us forward for his sake.

My desire and prayer for my son is that he enjoy a full and enriching life - able to do and enjoy as much as he can possibly do and enjoy. And neither of us will ever know how much that is if I don’t continue to let go so he can show me what he’s capable of.

For those of you who have children who have transitioned or are transitioning out of the school system to adulthood, how have you handled the transition?